Is This The Name Of Your Favorite Paint, Or A Grunge Band?

Pet peeves can get husbands into trouble with their wives. My dear wife loves to pick colors in the paint store, and I rant about the meaningless compound words that define them. Are you really interested in a color named “oat bran” or “Oregon coast”? The people who label these colors are either terribly bored or swimming in narcotics. They also seem to have something in common with musicians who find peculiar handles for their band.

To demonstrate this peculiarity, I’ve come up with an exercise. Using the month and date of your birth, see if you can match up a splendid name that would go great with the shade of lavender in your rec-room, or be printed on fliers for the next metal night at O’Sullivan’s Bar.

MONTH                 DATE

1. Mocha               1. Sunrise

2. Mango              2. Bringer

3. Frosty               3. Destroyer

4. Regal                4. Screwdriver

5. Cranberry        5. Horizon

6. Mountain        6. General

7. Desert              7. Avalanche

8. Dusk                8. Memory

9. Puffin              9. Dreamer

10. Espresso      10. Fusion

11. Charcoal       11. Monkey

12. Circus           12. Sunset

13. Election

14. Vortex

15. Birthday

16. Nimbus

17. Olympian

18. Lover

19. Steel

20. Frosting

21. Anthem

22. Garden

23. Kingdom

24. Flake

25. Phoenix

26. Celebration

27. Exorcism

28. Labyrinth

29. Merry-Go-Round

30. Helix

31. Jubilee

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