I am happiest this season thanks to Pumpkin-Flavored Everything, a mini-holiday right before Halloween. Thanks to the Wife, I shall soon sample these delicious looking pumpkin donuts and be at peace with the world.
You may ask, “What do I need to get into Pumpkin-Flavored Everything?” And my answer is simple. To enjoy PFE 2014, you need appetite, resilience, and a child-like joy for Autumnal bliss.
I have rekindled the boy inside me, the child who marveled at the changing of the colors, the pumpkins on doorsteps, and the crispness of a New England morning. But this is the new century, and thanks to chemicals, we have pumpkin-flavored foods. Now it is my goal, nay, my mission in life, to sample as many pumpkin-flavored foods as I can cram into my gizzard. And friends, my checklist is both impressive and heavily laden in calories:
- Pumpkin-pecan cheesecake
- Four types of pumpkin donuts
- Two types of pumpkin coffee
- Pumpkin whoopie pie
- Pumpkin bread
- Pumpkin ravioli
- Pumpkin muffin
- Pumpkin spice frozen yogurt
- Maple-pumpkin butter
- Pumpkin croissants (plural, because of the other ones that jumped into my mouth.)
- Gluten-free pumpkin pie with graham cracker coating
- Pumpkin pie cheesecake
- Pumpkin spice chocolate chip bread
- The wife’s outstanding grand finale pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving Day (which was the best damned pumpkin pie in the free world.)
- Pumpkin ice cream from Dairy Queen (a late entry in 2015, and thank God they were open after a snowstorm!)
Do you think I could forget pumpkin pie? Ah, but Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and the pumpkin pie will serve as an edible end-cap (a nod to my homeys in Home Depot). I don’t care if it was shipped out of a factory, made in the bakery at Stop & Shop, or hand-crafted by a relative. The pumpkin pie will be the sweetest conclusion to PFE 2014.
It’s not too late to jump in, friends! Leave your suggestions (and where I can find PFE items) in the comments section!