Pumpkin-Flavored Everything Is Far From Over

photoI am happiest this season thanks to Pumpkin-Flavored Everything, a mini-holiday right before Halloween. Thanks to the Wife, I shall soon sample these delicious looking pumpkin donuts and be at peace with the world.

You may ask, “What do I need to get into Pumpkin-Flavored Everything?” And my answer is simple. To enjoy PFE 2014, you need appetite, resilience, and a child-like joy for Autumnal bliss.

I have rekindled the boy inside me, the child who marveled at the changing of the colors, the pumpkins on doorsteps, and the crispness of a New England morning. But this is the new century, and thanks to chemicals, we have pumpkin-flavored foods. Now it is my goal, nay, my mission in life, to sample as many pumpkin-flavored foods as I can cram into my gizzard. And friends, my checklist is both impressive and heavily laden in calories:

  1. Pumpkin-pecan cheesecake
  2. Four types of pumpkin donuts
  3. Two types of pumpkin coffee
  4. Pumpkin whoopie pie
  5. Pumpkin bread
  6. Pumpkin ravioli
  7. Pumpkin muffin
  8. Pumpkin spice frozen yogurt
  9. Maple-pumpkin butter
  10. Pumpkin croissants (plural, because of the other ones that jumped into my mouth.)
  11. Gluten-free pumpkin pie with graham cracker coating
  12. Pumpkin pie cheesecake
  13. Pumpkin spice chocolate chip bread
  14. The wife’s outstanding grand finale pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving Day (which was the best damned pumpkin pie in the free world.)
  15. Pumpkin ice cream from Dairy Queen (a late entry in 2015, and thank God they were open after a snowstorm!)

Do you think I could forget pumpkin pie? Ah, but Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and the pumpkin pie will serve as an edible end-cap (a nod to my homeys in Home Depot). I don’t care if it was shipped out of a factory, made in the bakery at Stop & Shop, or hand-crafted by a relative. The pumpkin pie will be the sweetest conclusion to PFE 2014.

It’s not too late to jump in, friends! Leave your suggestions (and where I can find PFE items) in the comments section!

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