XYZ

It’s important to have a plan. Busy day tomorrow? No problem! I’ll turn in at a reasonable hour, get up early, exercise, and eat something with a generous amount of coffee. That makes the morning run smoothly, doesn’t it? I had decent commute, and as if to welcome me to Friday morning, all the radio…

Man Uses Swiss Army Knife, Screws Up

I miss my years in the Boy Scouts. I miss the camping, the hiking, the training, and the uniforms. I especially miss the greatest tool a Scout could ever carry—the Swiss Army Knife. My wife got me a new one for Christmas, and I’ve since used it to open boxes and cut tape. Last night,…

Need A Story Idea For NaNoWriMo?

For fellow writers in a crunch for National Novel Writing Month, I am now offering free story ideas. They are yours to handle, but hey, if you strike it rich, just tell the good people where you found your story! None of that “While I was on the john” or “It came to me in…

October’s Horoscopes

ARIES:  Your werewolf costume will scare the hell out of folks on Halloween, but you need to stop wearing it to birthdays and funerals. TAURUS:  People remark about your striking resemblance to Paul Newman, which might explain why your mother spoke fondly of “bike rides with Butch.” GEMINI:  Press gangs are a thing of the…

Time To Make A New 1776

Letters from General Washington keep arriving by baby-faced courier. Franklin cracks jokes from the corner of the room. Jefferson wishes he was back in Virginia snogging his wife. Adams won’t sit down. We’ve seen the success of a Les Miserables redux. Now it’s time to reboot American patriotism, turn Philadelphia into an incubator of democracy,…

Ten Reasonable Questions For Batman

Did you ever wonder how Batman turned a damp and dreary bat cave into his headquarters? Does he machine his own batarangs, or buy ’em wholesale? How much of the Batmobile is really street legal? I’ve had scores of questions for the Caped Crusader, but I doubt the Dark Knight would ever be the kind…

The Last Stretch For NaNoWriMo

Eight thousand words. That’s all I need to finish my seventh run with National Novel Writing Month. Writers look at the challenge to write a 5o,000-word story in 30 days like a hike up a mountain. But it’s the last stretch, the short distance left to the majestic peak, when you’re the most vulnerable. I…

Watch As I Use Delphi To Make You Do Stupid Things

Ex-Tea Party bad boy Field Searcy may be on to something. According to his spiel in a closed-door Republican caucus meeting in Georgia, the President of the United States has been using a mind control technique called “Delphi” to channel American citizens down the dark path to Socialism, homelessness and yeast infections. Well, that’s absurd,…

Say, Does Your Mom Build Squirrel-Proof Bird Feeders In The Back Yard?

There came a point in my life when I treated the quirky aspects of my family’s behavior like a salad bar:  I thought I could sample some personality from my dad and some personality from my mom. But you can’t argue with heredity. When my mother and grandfather both designed anti-squirrel bird feeders in their…

On The Launch Pad for NaNoWriMo

In just five hours and fifteen minutes, millions of writers will leap into –National Novel Writers Month—the challenge to write a 50,000-word novella in 30 days. They will experience the thrill of brainstorming, the rush of punching out chapters, and the frustration of writer’s block. Anyone can take a swing at this challenge! The greatest…